Everyday Life

Many of us have trouble when it comes to keeping up a successful marriage. We want everything to run smoothly so that there are never any problems. Unfortunately this isn’t always possible. In fact many of us have serious problems and we usually always go to the wrong people. Keep in mind that the only people who can truly help are the ones who already are successful at it.

Be your ideal spouse - If someone asked you what you wanted from your partner, you’d quickly rattle off a long list of qualities. But a great relationship starts with you, the Leedses say. “It’s my job to be the kind of partner I want,” Lilo says. “I think, Instead of criticizing, what can I do differently? or What am I doing that is upsetting him?” Once you commit to improving you, you’ll notice a difference in your relationship — and you’ll be motivated to improve even more.

Think before you speak -  ”When I’m angry, I say, ‘Don’t talk to me. I’m busy counting to 100,’” Lilo says. “Counting prevents fights from escalating because by the time I’m done, I either forget why I am mad or I realize that what I’m angry about is unimportant.”

Ask for what you need instead of complaining about what is wrong - If something bothers you, it’s better to get it off your chest rather than fume. “But there’s a big difference between ‘We never go out to dinner’ and ‘I’d like to go out for dinner,’” Lilo says. “Asking sets a positive tone, and is more likely to get results.”

Make your marriage a lifelong courtship - ”Just because the honeymoon ends doesn’t mean the romance has to stop,” Lilo says. Gerry adds, “We are still holding hands, making love, and skiing down mountains together. We knew we’d be happy when we met more than five decades ago, but the reality is better than our dreams.”